Goodbye Australia

It seemed somehow fitting to end our tour of Australia in Sydney. In the city that you might assume was the capital, if you hadn’t paid too much attention in geography class.

The site of the first British colony in Australia, only 230 years ago. Selected due to its extremely accommodating natural harbour, which now provides Sydney with miles of expensive river front properties and a perfect setting for its two most iconic buildings.

The opera house may be the most familiar building in Sydney, but for me, the harbour bridge dominates the scene. Built in the 1920’s to provide a road and rail link between Sydney’s central business district and its northern suburbs, the bridge has become an iconic landmark. You know you’re in Sydney when you spy the towering arched framework, which forces itself into view around almost every corner.

A visit to the Rocks museum, tucked away in a small stone warehouse down a maze of side streets, offered a glimpse into the effort that went into building the bridge. A black and white video was playing on loop, showing the extreme disregard for health and safety that prevailed in 1923.

Thousands of working class men were offered lucrative employment opportunities when construction started. But the money on offer was partly danger money, with a days’ work involving heavy manual labour on partially built steel girders, hanging hundreds of feet over the river below. Not the place to be if it should get a little wet, or windy, or both.

16 workers died during the building process and it seems surprising that the figure wasn’t even higher given the conditions.

Manly

We were staying in Manly, around ten miles down river from the city centre. Manly harbour is the site where Captain Arthur Philip received a spearing from one of Sydney’s original inhabitants. It’s now a trendy commuter suburb, where one bed flats cost eye watering amounts and you’re not short of options for a morning coffee or afternoon gelato.

To blend in with the locals, we decided to arrive in style by catching the commuter ferry from Sydney harbour. After an effortless train journey from the airport that directly connects to the harbour terminal, we set sail under warm blue skies. There can’t be many better daily commutes and it sure beats my usual run up the M4.

We made this same ferry journey twice a day, every day we were here. It was worth leaving the house just to stand at the front of the boat, enjoying a cooling breeze and watching Sydney’s incredible coastline unfold.

Sydney Aquarium

Lexi loves an aquarium and we had high hopes for Sydney’s offering. After a journey involving two ferries, we pulled into Darling harbour and stood in line to be unburdened of some cash.

We learned that Octopus have eight hearts and blue blood, and that Dugongs are distant relatives of elephants and require feeding every ten minutes. That may seem excessive, but to be fair they only eat lettuce all day, which must get a bit boring.

After several hours underwater, exploring everything from sharks to starfish, we eventually had to surface for some lunch.

Luna Park Take Two

Set almost directly beneath the harbour bridge, it hadn’t taken the kids very long to discover that Sydney was home to another Luna Park. We’d spent the whole day in St Kilda’s Luna Park during our stay in Melbourne, so it seemed unlikely that we’d escape another visit.

Luna Park is an old fashioned amusement park, but with modern day prices. We got good value out of our day in St Kilda, because the park was relatively quiet and the kids were able to go on most of the rides together, without having to muster up a brave adult to accompany them.

The park in Sydney had a different combination of rides, and Lexi was too small to go on anything exciting without a responsible parent in tow. This was unfortunate, because it meant I also had to go on some rides to keep Kiera company.

The kids did love the indoor play area, which contained a variety of wooden slides and some genuinely antique looking games.

Both kids seem to have inherited my competitive streak, so they particularly relished the opportunity to nudge some smaller kids down a spinning wheel contraption, to claim the title of last child standing.

Goodbye Australia

We arrived on 9^th May and left on 3^rd July, with our eight weeks spent touring around a fair-sized portion of the country.

Western Australia already feels like a slightly distant memory, but we won’t forget our first kangaroo spotting expedition, or the many hours we spent in Kings Park and Hilarys Harbour.

It was great to spend some time with my family in Adelaide. Hopefully next time will beat the previous 25-year gap.

As hoped, we all enjoyed the slightly cooler climate of Tasmania, with its laid back friendly atmosphere and the charming cobbled streets of Hobart.

Melbourne and Sydney were both cities where I could imagine spending more time in the future, with so many possibilities we only scratched the surface with a few days in each place.

I’d also like to take on another long distance Australian drive at some point, but on a more leisurely timetable than our RV relocation deal allowed.

But the kids have started to speak with an Australian twang and have memorised the timings of their favourite programmes on the ABC kids network, so it’s time to move on before we need to apply for a residency visa.

Next Time

We’re heading across the Pacific, with a stop off in the sunny island of Oahu, Hawaii. I can’t imagine we’ll often be passing by Hawaii, so it seemed an opportunity not to be missed. I’m hoping to visit Pearl Harbour, but I think the family may have other ideas in mind, possibly involving sun tan lotion and some inflatables.

August 5, 2017 4

What Is The Largest Living Thing On Earth?

Not long after dropping back our RV in Cairns, we were enjoying a pizza at a lovely Italian restaurant in Trinity Beach, our new home for the week.

Trinity Beach was a good location for a family break, within 15 minutes drive of Cairns and on the road up to Port Douglas.

Snorkeling On The Great Barrier Reef

We planned on doing not much this week. Except of course we couldn’t come this far and not go out to the barrier reef.

On the drive up to Cairns, we passed roadside signs with trivia questions. I believe these were designed to combat driver fatigue. This is how I learned that the Great Barrier Reef is the largest living thing on earth, at least according to whoever installs signs for the Queensland roads department. I trust them.

A friend had recommended going on a tour with Quicksilver, from Port Douglas, which included a boat ride to the outer reef plus the option of doing some snorkeling.

The boat trip from Port Douglas took 90 minutes. At the outer reef we were landed onto a fixed pontoon large enough for several hundred people, marooned out at sea for at least the next few hours until our boat ride back.

Both kids are now stronger swimmers than me, plus I don’t like putting my face into water. Something about not wanting to drown. So, I opted to see the reef via an underwater semi-sub.

I was expecting to see a glorious display of colour on the reef, but most of the coral was grey, with just the odd patch of brilliant blue. There appeared to be a healthy population of fish living on the reef, and I was lucky enough to spot a few green sea turtles grazing on the seabed.

As I wouldn’t get my face wet, Anja got the honour of taking the kids snorkelling. First they had to change into some very fetching, full body lycra suits.

Kiera is a very confident swimmer, but there were some big fish in the water and we were miles out to sea, so it took a little time to get enough confidence to enjoy the experience. Needless to say, after several hours in the water she didn’t want to get out.

Lexi was braver than me and at least got in the water, but she wasn’t quite ready to go out swimming with the fish.

I’m not a marine biologist, but I understand that rising sea temperatures are bleaching the coral, which is why the reef had lost its colour and didn’t look particularly healthy. Perhaps the presence of several hundred tourists each day, arriving for lunch and swimming in the sea, also isn’t conducive to a naturally pristine environment.

After a few hours on the pontoon, we were whisked back to dry land, ready for a beer and some food along the Port Douglas waterfront.

Crocodile Cruise

Despite our visit to Australia Zoo the previous week, we decided to visit some more crocodiles while we were in their natural habitat. Hartley’s place is an interesting combination of zoo and farm, with live crocodiles mixing with crocodile sausages.

None of us really fancied sampling the sausages. The real highlight was going out into a crocodile infested lake on a tiny boat, where another crazy aussie dangled raw chicken off a makeshift fishing pole made from bamboo.

We were told that this method of feeding helps to keep the crocodiles active, but it seemed designed to antagonise the poor creatures. Either way, it worked wonderfully. The boat was nearly swallowed whole during the ensuing feeding frenzy and we all took one step back as the largest crocodile attempted to join us in the boat.

Waterplay

We were still acclimatising to life in the tropics, so most days for us needed to include an element of cooling off in water.

Given the combination of crocodiles and jellyfish, plus the lack of a natural beach in Cairns, the best and most definitely safest spot to cool off is along the Cairns esplanade. There is a man-made pool, constructed on the sea front, using filtered sea water. There is even a small artificial beach for sand castles.

After enjoying some wonderful natural sights in Queensland, the kids felt that we hadn’t seen enough colourful plastic, so we also headed for a day of water sliding at Sugarworld. It was the school holidays, but the place was nearly deserted. This was perfect for our two. No queuing.

Pokies

Pokies are an Australian phenomenon, with signs for the addictive gambling machines lining most high streets. They hadn’t featured highly on our family itinerary, but we’d lined up a visit to a sports bar to watch the British & Irish Lions take on the All Blacks, so I had to check them out at least once.

Trinity Beach sports bar had all bases covered. There was a family restaurant and bar, a sports bar and a pokies room. I learned that pokies are basically the same as slot machines, so I can’t quite understand why they’re such a big deal over here. You might as well take all of the money in your wallet and set it on fire.

After some negotiation with the Australian sports obsessed Australian bar staff, we managed to secure one television screen in the family bar to watch the Lions. A small group of fellow fans and a couple of kiwis gathered around us. There was no sound, we were just on pictures, but that was good enough to see the Lions triumph and tie the series at one game apiece.

Next Time

We have a few days in Sydney to wrap up our Australian adventure, before a week in the sun on Oahu island, Hawaii.

July 30, 2017 3

It Doesn’t Look Too Far – On A Globe

Melbourne to Cairns Road Trip

While enjoying our week in Tasmania, I had been keeping an eye out for special RV relocation deals on the internet. The idea is that if hire companies need one of their vehicles moving to a different depot, then you can volunteer to do the drive for them and in return they give you the vehicle for $1 per night.

This sounded too good to be true when I first heard about it, but after much searching I found a deal that worked for us. For less than the cost of a coffee, we’d be the proud, temporary owners, of a 6 berth RV. In return, we simply had to move the vehicle from Melbourne to Cairns. We had 7 days.

Looking at a map of Australia, Melbourne is at the extreme bottom and Cairns is very close to the top. A quick google search revealed that the shortest driving route is 2,944 kilometres, with a best case driving time of 32 hours.

Coming from the UK it’s hard to comprehend this distance. The furthest we’d contemplate driving at home is maybe 4 or 5 hours in any one direction. Beyond this I’d be booking flights, or else we’d be driving into the sea.

My maths brain kept reassuring me that 32 hours over 7 days was only 4-5 hours driving per day. But it still looked a reasonably long way on the map.

Fresh Tin Can

We arrived feeling fresh at the Melbourne Maui depot at 10am. This is where we’d been instructed to pick-up our vehicle, rather than a random sightseeing trip.

I half expected to be presented with a ten year-old wreck that was being sent to a retirement home in Cairns. Instead we were handed the keys to a freshly minted RV, with its cutlery still in a plastic wrapper, making its maiden voyage to warmer climes.

We felt like campervan pros after our 12 nights in New Zealand, so after a quick inspection we were off. After 0.5 kilometres we stopped for supplies. This took over an hour as the kids were hungry and needed feeding. At this rate, it was going to take us a lot longer than a week to get to Cairns.

After a late start, we stopped off in a caravan park just before sunset, at a bend in the Murray River called Tocumwal. We were only 300km outside of Melbourne, but given the abundance of Australian wildlife littering the roads, I was keen to avoid night time driving unless it was absolutely necessary. It’s hard to see a kangaroo in the dark and I didn’t fancy the job of scraping a dead one of the road.

Instead, I thought we could get an early start the following morning, with the goal of reaching Dubbo by afternoon, which was 500km away.

At 6am it was still dark and a heavy mist covered the ground, with icicles hanging from the wing mirrors. I was starting to question the wisdom of setting off so early. I couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead and visibility was probably worse than if it had been the middle of the night. At least the road was mostly straight and there wasn’t too much in the way of traffic.

Conditions improved as the sun rose and we made Dubbo in reasonable time. After starting to exhibit early symptoms of cabin fever, the kids were ecstatic to find that our campsite had a swimming pool and waterslides. The day had warmed up nicely and I was equally pleased to open a cold beer while notionally standing on lifeguard duties.

Glancing at a map, I was pleased to see that we were now north west of Sydney, which felt like reasonable progress. Cairns was still off the map though, a very long way away. I was starting to formulate a back-up plan in my mind, involving Anja and the girls catching a flight from Brisbane, while I bravely drove the lonely road to Cairns.

A Typical Day in the RV

We reached Moree on day 3, after a relatively short day because we didn’t set-off until gone 10am. The kids wanted one last go in the swimming pool and I was happy to take a break after yesterday’s early start.

Our standard routine was getting pretty well drilled, with a couple of hours driving followed by a rest stop, preferably somewhere in the vicinity of both a playground and a bakery. The bakery was mainly for my benefit, so that I could top up on fresh coffee or grab a pie for lunch.

Two or three spells of driving each day would theoretically be enough to get us to Cairns.

We’d stopped un-making the beds each day to save time and effort. This left us with one small table in the back, where the girls sat during the day and where we could all eat dinner.

Sunset was around 5pm, so by the time we had found a campsite and eaten, it was pitch black and we were all ready for sleep.

Nearly Half Way

Rather than stick to the inland route all the way to Cairns, day 4 saw us heading towards Brisbane. This wasn’t technically in the right direction, but Anja wanted to catch up with some friends from a previous visit to Australia.

Brisbane looked about half way to Cairns on the map, so I was happy that we could afford the diversion and still leave ourselves 4 days up the coast road.

It was lovely to meet our Australian friends and get out of the campervan for a few hours. We were greeted with food and beer, the kids had toys and a few lizards to play with. Everybody was happy.

Australia Zoo

Having come this far, we decided that we couldn’t miss a chance to visit Australia Zoo. This was the home of Steve Irwin.

I’m sure there are videos on youtube if you are not familiar with Steve’s work. He used to be on TV at home quite often, wrestling wild crocodiles and catching ridiculously dangerous snakes. He was killed a few years ago by a stingray, but his legacy lives on.

Australia Zoo contained all the standard wildlife that you’d expect to see, including cuddly koalas, cute wallabies and brick shaped wombats. But we only had eyes today for the crocodiles.

Two crazy Aussies jumped into one of the crocodile pens. This was a planned event that a crowd had gathered to watch, not a spectacularly stupid suicide mission.

Crocodiles are stealth hunters, evolved over millions of years to sneak up on their prey, before crushing their unsuspecting victim with the most powerful set of jaws in the animal kingdom. Our crocodile man was standing within striking distance of the water with some raw chicken in his hands, which didn’t seem the brightest move.

The show was good fun and the crocodile appeared well accustomed to aiming his teeth at the raw chicken rather than the human surrounding it. But even from the safety of our vantage point, it was still a touch unnerving to be so close to such a dangerous killer.

Australia zoo contained plenty of other treats and we happily spent the day wandering back and forth. I was surprised to find tigers and rhinos complementing the usual line-up of Australian marsupials. We could have stayed longer, but the zoo was closing up and the road was beckoning.

Night Driving

Is it a good idea to drive around Australia in the dark, in an over-sized tin can that requires a decent amount of advanced warning before coming to a halt?

I think the answer is probably not, and I’m pretty sure the official answer is not.

But there was no way we were reaching Cairns without some night driving, especially after our day at the zoo. So I set the sat-nav for a distant camping spot and tentatively steered a course through the darkness.

It turns out that it is possible to spot kangaroos in the dark, but only at a distance that makes it impossible to stop if any of them decides to cross the road. My driving speed dropped from a steady pace to a slow crawl and we inched into our roadside camping spot, ready for bed.

Life in a Lay-by

After experimenting with driving in the dark, we also discovered that the majority of campsites closed up for the night around 7pm. This left us with two options. Carry on driving, or park up for the night in a designated rest stop just off the highway.

I used our campsite app to locate a potential rest stop ahead, expecting to find little more than a deserted patch of tarmac and an overflowing waste bin.

It turns out that highway rest stops are, in fact, thriving spots of tourist activity. I was actually pleased to find that we would have some company. Safety in numbers. But I was surprised that so many people had decided, purposefully, to spend some of their holiday camping next to a major road.

Having survived our first experience of life in a lay-by, I decided that I quite enjoyed the fact that we could camp for free, surrounded by fellow travellers sharing a simple need for rest.

I could get used to this I thought. Many of our fellow campers appeared to be grey nomads. Caravans attached to their 4x4s, drifting around Australia as the mood takes them. Not a bad looking life.

By this point in the trip, we had dispensed with all but the basic essentials of human existence. We had no need for fancy shower blocks or flushing toilets. We were at one with nature. Focussed only on reaching Cairns in one piece, no matter how bad we all looked.

We Need A Wash

As we edged up the north eastern coast of Australia the temperature started to climb. After leaving Melbourne feeling distinctly cool, we were heading up into the tropics, and officially crossed over the Tropic of Capricorn in a place called Rochampton.

As the weather grew warmer, so the roads became lined on all sides by sugar cane fields. Narrow train tracks weaved around the giant plantations, with toy trains ready to help with the harvest.

Our roadside stops did not surprisingly come with en-suite bathroom facilities, and it was a non starter trying to take a shower in the campervan. The shower enclosure was so small and in such close proximity to the toilet that it would have been easier to take a bath in the kitchen sink.

So I decided to treat the family to a shower.

At Rockhampton we headed for the open air pool and washed, then swam, then washed again just to make sure. Having enjoyed our wash so much, we decided to repeat this process for the next few days. Breaking our journey at whatever municipal swimming pools we could find, in favour of taking playground stops.

You Have Reached Your Destination

We didn’t have time on this trip to explore the coastline in any depth, or visit numerous attractions, but we did get a sense of the scale of Australia and an idea of life between the big cities.

Towns that we had never previously heard of are now at least slightly familiar, and we learned about many other places that we would like to visit again.

It was, however, a great relief to reach the Cairns motorhome depot at bang on the agreed time of 2pm, almost exactly one week after we had pulled out of Melbourne.

Next Time

No more driving. We’ll sit still for a week in tropical Cairns and hopefully get out to see the Great Barrier Reef.

July 23, 2017 5

72 Hours in Melbourne With Kids

Melbourne is a culturally vibrant city. Some might even say it’s the cultural capital of Australia. There are lots of really nice, fancy looking restaurants, and plenty of interesting looking architecture.

But when you’re travelling with two kids, not much trumps a fun fair, and Melbourne can deliver on this front too.

Luna Park, St Kilda

Luna Park in St Kilda is over one hundred years old, but I suspect they’ve upgraded a few of the rides more recently.

You can enter Luna Park for free, but that wouldn’t be much fun because they won’t let you go on any of the rides unless you pay. So then you have a dilemma. Pay $10 for single ride tickets and set a strict limit on how much fun can be had. Or spend $40 and get unlimited rides for the kids, all day.

I couldn’t face a whole day shelling out fresh $10 notes for individual rides, and I was hoping we could get value for money from an unlimited ticket, which the kids unsurprisingly agreed with.

The dodgems is about my limit for adrenaline, so if the kids wanted to go fast then they would need to find some self-sufficiency.

Or rope their mum in.

Luna Park had just the right sort of rides for our two kids, at ages six and nine. It might be too tame if you have older kids or are adrenaline junkies. I also liked the rather old fashioned surroundings, which kept me entertained while the kids queued.

Melbourne Zoo

We were clearly feeling benevolent during our time in Melbourne, because having exhausted our appetite for getting dizzy, we decided to treat the kids again with some time at the zoo.

Subconsciously, I may have been softening them up for a week sitting in a campervan, but more on that next time.

Melbourne Zoo had more than enough to keep us entertained for the day, and we didn’t manage to cover half of it.

Lexi was very fond of the giraffes.

I preferred the elephants. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to see their cousins in the wild very shortly.

Free Trams

We managed to accomplish multiple loops of Melbourne city centre, not to mention our trips to Luna Park and the Zoo, all via the miracle of Melbourne’s tram system.

Firstly, the trams are free within the city centre. Absolutely free. What a brilliant and generous idea.

If you want to travel outside the city you need to buy a ticket, but there’s something novel about jumping onto a clean, quiet tram, and bypassing all of the city’s traffic.

Really every large city should have a tram system. It’s much more civilised than going underground every time you want to move about, and you still get to see everything going on, rather than being buried in a tunnel.

The only downside I could see, and this may be an issue, is that because of the predominance of tram lines, Melbourne has developed a very odd system for controlling car turnings. If you want to turn right in your car, rather than sitting in the middle of the road waiting for a gap, you need to pull off to the left and wait there. Otherwise you’d be squashed by a tram. They seem to have got the hang of this in Melbourne, but I suspect it would cause multiple pile-ups if you suddenly launched this concept anywhere else.

Next Time

We’re off to Cairns, but not by taking the sensible option of hopping on a plane for 3 hours. Oh no, that would be too easy and miss out all the good bits in between. Instead, I’ve found a bargain and got ourselves a campervan relocation deal. Let’s see how that works out.

July 19, 2017 1

A Family Retreat In Huon Valley, Tasmania

I had carelessly booked us onto a Jet Star flight out of Melbourne. This meant we had plenty of time to kill in Melbourne airport. Jet Star’s published timetable of flight departures is a work of pure fiction. Tonight they were only running an hour late, which felt like a mini success.

We landed in Hobart at 11pm, after a perilously low approach over some water that almost had me reaching for my life jacket. As we are instructed at the start of each flight, I was fully ready to save myself first, with the kids entirely oblivious to our impending doom, absorbed on their iPads.

The pilot somehow found tarmac and I dashed out of the bijou terminal building to call our car hire company, convinced that we’d probably missed the last courtesy bus. I got straight through to a lovely lady, who told us to wait inside the terminal building and she’d swing round to pick us up in ten minutes.

Not only did this save us a walk to the bus stop, but it also suggested that we would be able to pick-up our car and I could break some good news to the family. We wouldn’t, after all, need to sleep in the terminal building like proper travellers.

I was warming to Tasmania already.

After a bus journey of five minutes we were dropped off in a barely lit gravel car park and given the keys to our 4×4 (Apex car rentals had a special offer, so I decided to upgrade!).

It was already a late night and the kids were starting to doze off in the car as we drove to our new Airbnb house, around an hour south of Hobart, in the Huon Valley. There was plenty of road kill as we headed out of town, and a couple of live wallabies were grazing in the middle of the road, attempting to become the next victims.

Our new home was around ten minutes outside the logging town of Geevston. It had an almost Japanese feel, with sliding doors and neat storage making the most of what was, essentially, a converted shipping container.

In the pitch black of our arrival, our only concern was locating the keys so that we could all get some sleep. After some searching through my emails, I eventually located the lock box code and we were in. Anja stopped searching for nearby hotels and congratulated me on my excellent planning.

The morning revealed a glorious sunrise over the surrounding hills and a sneaking view of the Huon river valley below us. I was extremely pleased with our little of slice of Tasmanian soil and was starting to google house prices in the area.

Compared to the rest of Australia, Tasmania is relatively poor and land is relatively inexpensive. You can pick up an acre plot with coastal views for less than $100k. The same plot in Perth or Sydney would cost millions.

When my writing career takes off and I can live off the royalties, then a little spot in Tasmania could look very appealing. In the meantime I’m not sure we’d be able to survive off the land alone, so we’ll have to settle for visiting.

Tahune Forest

After spending the previous day travelling, we were ready for some fresh air on our first full day in Tasmania.

A 30-minute drive along a mud road from Geevston brought us to the Tahune Forest, and the prospect of enjoying some fresh air from a wobbly walkway constructed at dizzying heights off the forest floor.

The Tahune Airwalk loops 600m around the forest, at heights of up to 50m off the ground. This may not sound much, but it looks pretty high when all you’re standing on is some metal mesh with a clear drop below.

As usual, the kids ran around the walkway and attempted to give me a heart attack by leaning precariously over low sections of handrail.

The views from up high were magnificent, but I was glad to return to solid ground and tackle one of the loop walks that crossed over a couple of swing bridges on a meandering forest pathway. An information board suggested this walk was an hour long, but the kids were keen to have a good laugh at me on the swing bridges, so off we set.

With various stops to inspect insects and prod mushrooms with sticks, daylight was beginning to recede when we eventually returned to the car park.

There’s something hugely satisfying about spending an afternoon with the kids, just walking and talking and being outdoors.

I’m not convinced the kids entirely agree…

Mt Wellington

Hobart sits in a gorgeous setting, with Mt Wellington on one side and a natural harbour on the other.

As a job creation scheme in the 1930’s, a winding road was built all the way to the peak of Mt Wellington. At over 1,200 metres above sea level, the top of the mountain is a good 10 degrees cooler than Hobart. I can imagine the summit provides a lovely sanctuary from the summertime heat, but we were there in winter, so it was bloody freezing.

The view across Hobart was spectacular, for a few brief moments, before the clouds descended and we were cut-off from civilisation.

Anja retreated to the warmth of the car, while the kids decided to do some rock climbing to the tip of the summit. I was put in charge of supervising the rock climbing, which meant I could have a go too while asking the kids to wait for me at the top.

Salamanca Market

Salamanca market in Hobart runs every Saturday and we spent several happy hours wandering up and down the rows of stalls.

The surrounding area is a hub for apple growers, so there was a fair proportion of apple stalls, as you might expect. Otherwise, the market contained a fairly standard looking selection of food stalls and crafty objects, with the odd whiff of homemade soap mixed in with the coffee and hot dog aromas.

At one end of the market, a British guy, Jamie Maslin, had set-up stall selling signed copies of his book “The Long Hitch Home”. This was based on his journey from Hobart to London, which he accomplished over several months via hitch hiking. I eagerly snapped up a copy and spent the rest of the week feeling like an inferior traveller every time I jumped in our hire car.

While I was browsing books, the kids were sat enraptured by a street performer, who for some unknown reason was trying to squeeze himself through a tennis racket. Having finished contorting his body in ways that I couldn’t even bring myself to look at, he finished by inserting a sword down his throat. After nearly an hour of extreme busking, the guy did at least collect a decent amount of cash from the surrounding crowd. Whether it was enough cash to warrant a potentially life-threatening injury, I doubt.

Port Arthur

Port Arthur is a world heritage site, originally home to thousands of convicts that had re-offended following their original transportation from the UK. It is also the site of the world’s first dedicated boys prison.

I was expecting to find a desolate place, surrounded by shark infested waters and inescapable depths of forest. Natural fortifications to contain hardened career criminals from the rest of humanity.

Instead, Port Arthur was both beautifully tranquil and picturesque in its late Autumn colours. It was hard to picture this scene as a place of imprisonment. It looked the perfect setting for a holiday camp.

Plus, of course, most of the criminals did not appear to be hardened villains, but desperately poor people who had been transported from the UK for stealing food or poaching.

We spent all day wandering around the various buildings that formed the village of Port Arthur, which wasn’t just a prison, but also a thriving industrial centre and army barracks.

The main prison is now in a semi-ruined condition following several bush fires in the late 1800’s, but it was possible to get a sense of the conditions in a separate block that was built to isolate particularly difficult customers. Modelled on London’s Pentonville jail, the new prison kept inmates in perpetual silence, with the guards even going so far as to wear soft slippers to avoid the sound of footsteps on the hard stone floors. Unsurprisingly, the new prison was next door to the insane asylum.

Whale Spotting

A brief aside, but on the road home from Port Arthur we parked the car at a crazy angle on the side of the road. This was a reflex response on my part to seeing a small crowd of people standing at the roadside, peering out into the surrounding water.

A few of the locals tutted at us as they had to pull around to pass our car on a blind bend. No doubt cursing us inconsiderate tourists.

But we didn’t care, because after a few possibilities of seeing whales previously on our travels, we got a sighting of a mother whale with her calf, sheltering in the shallow inlet waters. They were very close to the surface and came up for air a few times. They were several hundred metres from the roadside, but we could see and hear them clearly, even if my pictures don’t quite prove this.

Cockle Creek

Having studied a map of our new surroundings, I was excited to learn that we were within striking distance of the most southerly point in Australia. Or, at least, the most southerly point that you can reach in a car.

After Cockle Creek, the next stop is Antarctica.

Before Cockle Creek, there is miles of bumpy dirt roads.

I was confident that we’d be fine with a touch of off-roading, on the basis that I had the foresight to book a 4×4 and hadn’t bothered to study the hire agreement small print in too much detail.

There wasn’t anything much at Cockle Creek. An empty camper van in the car park was evidence of the last known visitors, but otherwise we had the place to ourselves.

Despite the less than optimal bathing temperatures, we headed to the beach to enjoy the solitude and eat our hastily arranged picnic. French bread and cheese.

The kids managed a brief dip in the icy waters, and then we decided to retreat to the promised warmth of Hastings Thermal Pools. We’d passed a sign for Hastings on the way down and the kids needed de-frosting.

The thermal pool turned out to look very much like a normal outdoors swimming pool, albeit in a nice woodland setting and surrounded by several potential walking trails. The water was not very warm, at 28 degrees Celsius, but it was warm enough for us.

Next Time

Just a short hop across to Melbourne, for a few days whizzing around on free trams.

July 5, 2017 2

Why Can’t We Fly To Melbourne?

After a wonderful week in Adelaide staying with my family, we decided to go on a road trip to Melbourne so that we could drive the Great Ocean Road. I was looking forward to the dramatic scenery, getting out into small town south Australia, stopping frequently for coffee and a wander about. The kids were wondering why we couldn’t just fly to Melbourne.

We set aside four days to drive 1,000km from Adelaide to Melbourne and made our first overnight stop in Mt Gambier, the second largest town in South Australia. This got us 400km along the way to Melbourne, leaving us plenty of time to explore the more scenic sections ahead.

Mt Gambier sits on the slopes of a volcanic hill, with a cobalt blue lake at its peak. The Blue Lake wasn’t living up to its name when we visited, but it was still interesting to see the flooded remnants of a volcanic explosion less than 5,000 years old. The brilliant blue colour is only visible in summertime, and under the cloudier June skies it was closer to grey.

Our second night was spent in Port Fairy, which we reached shortly after crossing the state line into Victoria. I was pleased to have driven across an international time zone (+30 minutes between Victoria and South Adelaide). Nobody else seemed too fussed about this achievement, but I stopped the car at the side of the road to mark the occasion.

Port Fairy was well worth a stop. With a whole afternoon to spare we set about wandering up and down the high street to see what food might be on offer. Rebecca’s café served us up a nice bowl of seafood chowder for lunch and by the time we were hungry for dinner Sally Coffin’s had lit the pizza oven. We even managed to squeeze in some crepes for breakfast at the Belfast Man’s place and two trips to the old-fashioned sweet shop.

We could happily have stayed in Port Fairy for much longer, but we’d eaten too much and had a date with the official start of the Great Ocean Road.

From Adelaide, the B100 begins just beyond the town of Warrnambool, marking the start of ocean hugging roads and spectacular scenery.

There is a whale nursery in Warnambool and we’d read about some recent sightings of Great Southern whales with young calves just off the coast. We made our way to the purpose built viewing platform, where a few locals were camped out for the day with their thermos flasks and long lens cameras at the ready.

The sea was choppy and the white waves made it very difficult to tell whether there were any whales breaking the surface or not. We stared out to sea for nearly an hour, entranced by the view but entirely unable to say that we’d seen any whales.

The Grotto made a lovely stop off, just before Port Campbell. The eroded rocks provided a perfect picture frame to the crashing waves.

The Twelve Apostles is a must see on the Great Ocean Road. Unfortunately, everybody else on the road thought so too. Hordes of tour buses lined a large car park on the side of the road, with even greater masses of people lining the pathway to the best vantage points.

Helicopters buzzed overhead, carrying more extravagant tourists on an airborne tour of the coastal sights. I felt like a member of the paparazzi, ducking and diving in a sea of cameras to get a few snaps of the eroded limestone stacks. The view was good, but next time I’d arrive much earlier in the day to glimpse the scenery in a more relaxed atmosphere.

We spent the next couple of days in the small seaside town of Anglesea, giving the kids some time to recuperate from a couple of days of winding roads. Off season, we managed to land a stay in the Great Ocean Road resort for a very reasonable price. It had an indoor swimming pool, so the kids made sure we got plenty of value for money.

After Anglesea the road passes through the larger resort of Torquay, before starting to emerge into the outer suburbs of Melbourne.

We stopped at the Narana Aboriginal Cultural Centre, just before reaching Geelong. We hadn’t seen too many other opportunities to experience Aboriginal culture on our trip so far, and the kids enjoyed learning about the painting symbols that were dotted around the animal enclosure.

Kiera also got another chance to overcome her fear of emus. This didn’t exactly pan out as hoped, as an initially calm emu started to rampage around chasing a group of wallabies. It was interesting to see how fast the emus can shift, but Kiera didn’t agree, convinced that she was about to be mown over. We beat a hasty retreat the café for some lunch, where Lexi found an opportunity to experiment with her own symbols on a chalkboard in the café.

We’d reached the end of the Great Ocean Road and were now battling through Melbourne traffic to catch our next flight. Four days seemed a reasonable amount of time for us to explore this stretch of coastline, although with hindsight I would have put another overnight stop in between Port Fairy and Anglesea. This area contained most of the main sights and it would have been nice to spend more time around Cape Otway and Apollo Bay.

Next Time

We’ve just booked a flight to Tasmania, to spend a week in the Huon Valley, just south of Hobart. One of my early bosses at work was a guy from Tasmania. Not only was he a good boss and taught me loads, but he was very enthusiastic about his home state. Cheers Mike.

June 18, 2017 0

Best Place To See Dolphins In Adelaide

A two-hour river cruise for $8. Something didn’t feel quite right about this. You can only just get a beer for that price. This cruise was also holding out the possibility of us seeing some dolphins. For $8.

There is only one sailing per day on the Port Adelaide Dolphin Express. We arrived at the harbour just in time for the 11.30am departure.

We were blessed with a beautiful blue sky and no hint of wind. These were ideal dolphin spotting conditions. At least that’s what the man said who was taking our tickets as we walked down the gangplank.

We were poised to jostle for a prime dolphin watching spot at the front of the boat, until we discovered that there was only one other person waiting to challenge us. Nearly all the other passengers had decided to sit inside to be served their lunch. It was $20 for a cruise and lunch, so we’d been ultra-frugal and made our own sandwiches – cheese surprise as normal.

As well as the extra cost, I couldn’t see the point of coming on a dolphin cruise only to sit indoors and eat fish and chips. The cruise was two hours long, so I don’t think anybody would have starved if they’d skipped lunch and enjoyed the view.

Port River snakes its way out to sea, flanked by industrial buildings and grain stores. Container ships were swallowing their cargo whole, fed by enormous steel cranes.

It didn’t look the most promising spot for wild dolphins.

But within fifteen minutes of leaving dock we were flanked by at least three dolphins. They appeared to be racing us, starting out on the right side of the boat, disappearing for a few seconds, before magically reappearing on our left. Or, as the ship’s captain put it, they started on starboard before heading to port. I think that’s what he said anyway.

We hung precariously over the front edge of the boat to get the best possible view. I told the kids to hang on tightly while I took some photos, safe in the knowledge that they’re both good swimmers.

The cruise had already been a success as far as I was concerned, but we continued to spot dolphins for the next couple of hours. Some of the groups kept their distance, with just their fins visible above the water, but others came close, leaping into the air just metres in front of us.

It was incredible to see these animals in their natural habitat, powerful enough to easily out pace our leisure cruiser.

At the Port Adelaide maritime museum, we learned about the ongoing risk to these wonderful creatures, posed by river pollution and general human carelessness. Let’s hope that Adelaide remains home to the largest group of city dwelling dolphins in Australia for a long time to come.

In case you’re interested, here are five interesting dolphin facts gleaned from our trip to the maritime museum:

Dolphins descended from four legged land mammals and still have two little bones suspended under their spine. These are all that remains of the pelvis.
Dolphins can’t breathe through their mouths, which allows them to eat under water.
Dolphins have a brain as large and as complex as humans.
Dolphin skin is very sensitive to water pressure. They can feel somebody is trying to touch them even when the hand is 10cm away.
Dolphins can see equally well above and below the surface of water.

June 10, 2017 4

The Great Southern Road Trip, WA

The Brig Amity brought the first European settlers to Albany in 1836, setting sail from Sydney with 61 men to prevent an expected French settlement in the region.

Lying 400km south of Perth, on the bottom left edge of Australia, Albany is the oldest permanently settled town in Western Australia. An important port for mail ships heading from London to Sydney. At least until the mail was re-routed to Freemantle in order to reduce travelling time to the new WA capital in Perth.

The Great Southern museum was a perfect, free way to spend a few hours with the kids and brush up on our local knowledge. It’s always hard to tell how much they are listening as we walk through any museum, but it can be a pleasant surprise in a few weeks’ time if they suddenly mention something that we’ve learned on our one of our “educational” day trips.

If nothing else, the girls absolutely loved playing teacher in the old-fashioned village school.

There is also a replica of the Brig Amity alongside the museum. It didn’t take long to look around every nook and cranny, twice, as the ships accommodation only stretched to a few cabins for the officers. Our expectations for old ships are set quite high, coming from the home of the SS Great Britain, but the Brig Amity was a workhorse with few frills.

I try to imagine what it might have been like for one of the crew on this journey. The baker brought along to help feed the new settlement, or the bricklayers required to build a town from scratch. It seems like an almost overwhelming task to build a town from scratch, in a region so remote, with hardship almost certain. But the sense of opportunity and adventure must have been exciting enough to get men onto the ship, unless you were a convict and simply had no choice.

National ANZAC Centre

Albany is notable as the launching off point for thousands of ANZAC troops in World War One. The National ANZAC centre is located on a hill overlooking King George Sound, where the troop ships gathered for departure. The scene looks peaceful today, but a hundred years ago this bay was filled with troop ships, ready for departure.

After taking the kids through the Gallipoli exhibition in Wellington, at Te Papa, I wasn’t sure if the ANZAC centre would hold their attention. We ended up staying the day, following the individual stories of soldiers, officers and nurses, sent thousands of miles from home into unimaginable danger.

The ANZAC centre provides the perfect opportunity to reflect on the sacrifices that were made on our behalf. One in every three soldiers that set sail from Albany never returned home. Of those troops that made it home, most were deeply scarred in some way by their experiences on the front line.

Great Southern Coastline

The coastline around Albany contains some stunning natural scenery, and would be an ideal place to cool off in the summer.

Little Beach at Two Peoples Bay Nature Reserve appears like a scene from the movies. The sea was bright turquoise and the sand was so soft that it felt like fresh powdered snow.

We arrived in late May, and had the luxury of having this place almost to ourselves. The temperature was hovering in the low 20’s celsius, which in my mind is a perfect temperature for sitting on the sand without melting.

Some blue jellyfish had washed up onto the beach at the last high tide, so we tentatively approached the water to see if we’d be able to swim. The water was as clear as a mountain spring and appeared free of poisonous sea creatures. We dived in, or at least we tentatively put one toe in the water and then very slowly edged in, while all the time keeping a sharp eye out for anything that might eat us or sting.

There are sharks along this stretch of Western Australian coastline, but I kept reassuring the kids that I didn’t think sharks could swim in water that was only half a metre deep. Or at least that if they could, we’d hopefully see them coming in clear water.

The Gap and Natural Bridge at Torndirrup National Park is a sensational viewing point, with a clifftop formed of rocks that used to be joined to Antarctica. We’re talking a few years ago, when Australia was part of the same super continent as Antartica.

The good people of Australia decided that the natural wonder of this place wasn’t quite enough. So they decided to stick a metal platform into the side of a cliff and suspend it out over a sheer drop to the sea.

Once the kids had tested the platform to make sure it was safe, I ventured on for a few quick photos.

Greens Pool at Williams Bay is near the small town of Denmark, around 50km from Albany. A wide expanse of golden sand, with a lagoon of crystal clear water formed by a line of massive rocks offshore. This was another great spot to take a dip in the ocean and let the kids enjoy one of their favourite pastimes of clambering over rocks.

Valley of the Giants Tree Top Walk was an opportunity to suspend ourselves 40 metres up in the air between some bloody big trees, as the name suggest. The idea of walking in the air is to help preserve the forest floor and to prevent damage to tree roots, but the main benefit has to be the views.

Whaling Heritage

Alongside its wonderful natural scenery, Albany is also blessed to be home to passing groups of whales, visiting the sheltered waters of King George Sound. The whale watching season runs from June to September and cruises run daily from the town harbour. We missed the season by a few weeks, so we’ve added a return visit to our ever growing wish list.

The presence of whales has always been a source of income for the town, but not always in a nice way. As late as 1978, whales were being hunted along this coastline, prized for the oil contained in their blubber.

The Whaling Museum at Frenchman’s Bay provides a disturbing, but very informative tour of the former whaling station. Massive silos stand at the entrance of the whaling station, formerly used to store industrial quantities of whale oil. The oil was used in the manufacture of products including soap and candles.

The stench of whale oil is still faintly detectable, and images of the slaughter in progress and a collection of whale skeletons, vividly captured the horrific nature of what happened here.

This dismal business has now been stopped across most of the world, although Japan, Norway and Iceland do still hunt whales for their meat.

Busselton

On our way back from the Great Southern region to Perth, we called in at the seaside town of Busselton.

We made straight for the longest jetty in the southern hemisphere. How could we not.

The jetty is 1.8km long, originally built to handle cargo ships, carrying away the regions vast reserves of timber. The jetty had to be built so far out because Busselton bay slopes very gently out to sea, only reaching a depth of 8m at the very tip of the pier.

After a four-hour drive to reach Busselton from Denmark WA, we were ready to stretch our legs, so set off to walk the mile or so out to sea. A tourist train also runs up and down the jetty, but the walk was invigorating and the kids raced up and down the wooden platform.

The cargo ships stopped arriving here in 1972, which threatened to bring the jetty to the end of its natural life.

But the entrepreneurial people of Busselton built an underwater observatory at the end of the jetty in a bid to raise funds for its ongoing preservation. We took a tour of the underwater observatory, and our guide gave as a very helpful 30-minute introduction to the marine life that exists at different depths beneath the waves.

It was fascinating to watch life going on all around us from the calmness of the viewing platforms.

We finished our day in Busselton with a lovely meal at the The Goose. I felt bad after seeing so much interesting sea life, but the prawn risotto was simply too tempting and delicious.

Next Time

We have a few days back in Perth and then we’re heading to Adelaide to meet up with my Aussie family.

June 1, 2017 0

Family Walkabout in Perth, WA

After “sivun” weeks in New Zealand, we’ve landed in Western Australia for the next leg of our family gap-year.

We are technically heading towards winter, but it doesn’t feel that way. The trees are green, rather than the reds and oranges that had started to appear in New Zealand. We’ve also gone up a few notches on the temperature gauge compared to our last few weeks in a campervan, and it’s a pleasant warming sun rather than scorching hot.

Sprinklers on suburban lawns came as something of a surprise to the kids. They couldn’t work out why the grass was wet if it hadn’t been raining. Parrots were a pleasing sight too, congregating on tin roofs in our suburban road, before screeching off in a blur of colours.

The only hint that winter may be around the corner is the presence of people wearing a lot more clothes than us, plus a few slightly odd looks in our direction while sun bathing. It is slightly disconcerting to see people walking past in puffer jackets and bobble hats, while we’re applying sun screen.

Apart from the unsurprisingly nice weather, my initial impression of Perth was that it seems huge. We haven’t seen so many people in one place since we left London. Most of New Zealand could move in and you’d hardly notice.

The central business district looks sleek and shiny, with money from vast mining operations helping to pay for towering offices of glass and steel. Daily commuters are transported from the sprawling Perth suburbs by a spiral of rail tracks emerging from Perth Central, and they’re wearing sunglasses rather than carrying umbrellas.

A sprinkling of red brick Victorian buildings look a little lost in the centre of town, but it’s nice to see that some heritage has been preserved amidst the rush to build skyward. The redevelopment of Elizabeth Quay is also providing a better link from downtown to the Swan River, and the kids were more than happy to explore the new playground at Elizabeth Quay Island.

Kangaroo Hunting

Fresh off the plane, we drove to Yanchep National Park to spot some kangaroos, as if to prove to ourselves that we really were in Australia.

The kangaroos were happily grazing in an open patch of grass, visible before we’d even managed to get out of our car. They appeared entirely oblivious to our presence, at least up until the point when Lexi started doing her kangaroo impersonation.

We were pleased to see some genuine Aussie wildlife and I was pleased that my research had paid off. For a $12 entry fee and a one-hour drive to Yanchep we felt like true bushmen.

After a few days in Perth, it soon became apparent that kangaroos were around every corner. By early evening, hordes of bouncy marsupials would emerge on practically every available patch of grass. We’ve sadly got to the stage where we’re not even looking for them anymore, they’re just there, where we’d usually expect to see some cows or sheep.

That first sighting at Yanchep was still special though, even if we didn’t really need to make a special visit to see them. The best thing for me was simply the look on the kids’ faces as the kangaroos started hopping towards them.

Kings Park

We were staying in an Airbnb apartment this week, in Subiaco, within easy walking distance of Kings Park. In case you’re wondering, I think it’s pronounced “sue-be-ako”, but it took me nearly all week to work this out.

Kings Park is one-thousand acres of greenery, bang in the middle of Perth. The largest inner city park in the World. Three kids’ play areas. A café. Parrots flying around where there ought to have been pigeons. Probably some snakes in the undergrowth too, but we didn’t see any despite walking around all walk with a big stick.

Kiera has watched too many episodes of Bear Grylls, including 3 new episodes on the plane over. So our approach to all potentially hazardous situations is guided by what Bear would do. In the case of potential snakes, therefore, we go armed with a stick and a couple of small rocks. This is to allow us to stun the animal, before chopping of its head and grilling it for dinner. Thinking it through, we don’t normally carry a machete around with us, so we’d have to remove the head with a sharpened rock. We never got close to seeing any snakes, but better to be safe than sorry.

Kings Park was too large to explore in one day, or even one week, but our daily visits inevitably centered around one or other of the playgrounds. These have been thoughtfully crafted from natural materials found within the park, which I’m sure the kids appreciated.

Hillarys Harbour

Perth is blessed with miles of stunning coastline and even the winter weather was proving nice enough for us to warrant some beach time.

We were guided towards Hillarys Harbour as a safe place for the kids to go swimming. The harbour was indeed perfect for a family day out. There was a playground on the beach, the water was shallow and sheltered, and there was a generally pleasing buzz of seaside activities.

The water looked lovely and we splashed around in the shallows on quite a few occasions. We would have gone further except I kept seeing jellyfish. They were absolutely tiny and nearly entirely see through. They looked very harmless, but my knowledge of jellyfish varieties is non-existent, so I had visions of ruining our trip with a deadly sting.

We’re still taking baby steps getting to grips with being in a country where there are animals that are trying to hurt you.

Keating Family Tour of Freemantle Prison

The last hanging took place in 1964, but the doors only closed on Freemantle Prison in 1991, after 136 years of housing criminals. (Took me a little while to work that out on my fingers, after a few months away from my day job, so hope you found it useful).

John Keating arrived in Freemantle on 20^th August 1853. Sentenced in Limerick to 15 years for stealing a cow. In 1853 there was no prison yet in Freemantle. The convicts first job was to build their new home, on a hill overlooking the harbour.

The first section of cell block was opened in 1855, allowing prisoners to be transferred from their temporary warehouse accommodation, and then fully opened in 1859.

Convict transportation from the UK continued until 1868, with around 9,500 men deported in total, which happened to include five members of the Keating family according to Freemantle prison records, mostly from Ireland.

We arrived in Freemantle under slightly more favourable conditions. The Qantas flight from Christchurch was very civilised and we were not sleeping in a warehouse. We chose to visit the prison to get a sense of what life would have been like for some of the earliest travelers to this shore.

As you’d probably have guessed, it wasn’t pretty. The original cells were barely big enough to swing a hammock, measuring just 7 feet by 4 feet. The men were effectively stacked in concrete cages, four stories high.

Inmates were let out, but only so that their labour could be used to help with public infrastructure works. This practice continued until 1911, and was the reason that the original settlers in Western Australia had lobbied the UK Government to send convicts.

The regime was harsh and discipline was brutal. Solitary confinement was used for periods of up to 90 days, with inmates locked in cells with no light and walls thick enough to stop sound.

Freemantle Prison is now a world heritage site and a potential wedding venue, should you be so inclined to tie the know in the prison chapel. I was glad to escape after an hour. The kids were keen to embark on another tour, recounting escape stories, but we promised to come back another day.

Next Time

After a week of city life, it’s time to get back to the country. We’re planning a mini road trip to the bottom edge of Western Australia, starting with a few days in Albany. This is “mini” by Australian road trip standards because Albany is only 280 miles from Perth, so it’s practically the next town over.

May 25, 2017 2

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Snorkeling On The Great Barrier Reef

Crocodile Cruise

Waterplay

Pokies

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Melbourne to Cairns Road Trip

Fresh Tin Can

A Typical Day in the RV

Nearly Half Way

Australia Zoo

Night Driving

Life in a Lay-by

We Need A Wash

You Have Reached Your Destination

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Luna Park, St Kilda

Melbourne Zoo

Free Trams

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National ANZAC Centre

Great Southern Coastline

Whaling Heritage

Busselton

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Kangaroo Hunting

Kings Park

Hillarys Harbour

Keating Family Tour of Freemantle Prison

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